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Do you put off making difficult decisions, check with your buddies or boss before taking a stand, struggle to choose, constantly second guess yourself, avoid having tough conversations with others about performance or other problems? If you do, you're certainly not alone. But don't expect your development need to be overlooked just because so many others struggle with the same problem.

Since Steve Jobs' passing, calls for more Jobs-like courage have become a steady drumbeat in management publications, so much so, that I wasn't surprised when an HR leader asked me in the middle of this crusade if it was really possible to coach "courage."

It's a great question. To answer it, we should explore what's behind our managers' failure to take bold action.

Generally, there are three common obstacles to courage -- personality, skill, and circumstances.

Personality

From the literature on personality, we know we're all different for a variety of reasons. Some are take-charge, "Johnny-on-the-spot," assertive types who find it easy to step up boldly and make difficult decisions with minimal information and without stressing about how people will take the news. Others are less assertive, low risk takers who before making significant decisions prefer to know all the facts and make sure those affected are "okay" with what's changing.

When we experience a manager from the latter description, what we call a lack of courage may simply be a low assertive, low risk taker handling situations the way it feels most natural. Depending on the situation, it may be more effective than a more assertive response. But what happens when a situation requires more assertiveness? Can people adjust their personalities to be more assertive, or show more courage?

In our experience, the answer is a resounding, "Yes!" at least in the sense that people can learn to adapt. A person isn't likely to experience a personality change, but by becoming aware of natural tendencies and how they influence management practices, a manager can learn to develop alternative responses when a situation requires it. So the manager who lacks "courage" can learn to handle situations that call for bold action and resolve using responses that may not be natural, but developed and used when needed.

Skills

Just because somebody tells us we should do something doesn't mean we can do it. As many times as my baseball coach told me where to place the hit, it wasn't until I gained enough control to do it that I could give him what he asked. Sometimes the biggest obstacle to acting courageously is in not knowing how to do it effectively, or lacking the skill to do it. For example, a manager stressed about how employees will respond emotionally to a decision may put off the decision simply because he or she doesn't know how to announce it and field questions in a way that addresses employee concerns. Once the manager learns how to confidently and skillfully manage the conversation with employees it becomes easier to make the courageous decision.

Circumstances

Of course, negative past experiences can be powerful teachers to current managers about what happens when a manager acts courageously and things don't work out. Whether it happened a year ago or twenty years ago, any negative story of what happened to so-and-so will be a living legend in the halls of the organization until a dramatic event erases it. In the meantime, few managers will look to be the test case to see if things have changed.

Managers who operate in compliance mode each day shackled by excessive permissions for day-to-day decision-making will find it difficult to operate differently when told "This time things are different." To support managers changing their behavior, we often have to look at changing their circumstances making the workplace safe for them to do so.

While personality, skills, and circumstances aren't all the reasons a manager may fail the courage test, we should at least know there is hope for the Cowardly Lion. The Lion is not destined to walk the Yellow Brick Road forever in search of an all-powerful wizard who holds the secret to courage. In reality, he or she usually just needs honest support and a good coach.

Trying it on for fit:

Take a personality assessment to learn your decision style and natural tendencies. Explore various decisions at work and how contrasting personalities affected how they were made while trying to understand how various decision approaches fit better in some situations than in others. Identify circumstances in which your style, or preference, is a strength, and when an alternative style may be more effective. Create an adaptive response you could use to become a more effective decision maker in those circumstances. Seek feedback from trusted sources.